“Sõnumitooja, Mehaaniline Oraakel”

– The greatest information wizard and multimedia genius in the universe, who can follow more with his four eyes than you can even imagine with your two! With one eye, he reads tweets from the future; with the second, he glances back at the past – yes, he’s known for a long time who really took the pie. The third eye solves space sudoku, and the fourth… well, that one is watching you, just to remind you how small you are in this intergalactic drama.

Around him gathers a bunch of confused people who have lived their daily lives and are now searching for answers to questions they don’t even know how to ask. They grab their coffee cups, pomegranates, and… well, whatever else they’ve got, hoping that maybe today, something will emerge that will give their lives some clarity. Spoiler: it won’t. But the Messenger is still there, his mechanical eyebrow slightly raised, because he knows that most listeners are satisfied as long as someone speaks confidently about how the world works.

And right there, as always, is the Intergalactic Traveling Snail – well, obviously, if you’re the slowest creature in the universe, the only way to keep up with time is to travel at the speed of light. He moves slowly around the Oracle in his tiny spaceship, doing more laps than you can spin a teaspoon in your coffee cup.

And of course, there’s the old friend, the Tea Master, who’s so overwhelmed with information that he no longer remembers if it’s tea brewing in his pot or a dimension controller directing the flow between parallel universes. “Are we in the future yet?” he asks hopefully, blinking at the Messenger, who calmly nods and says, “Yes, but don’t get your hopes up. It’s the same crap as yesterday.”

But the funniest part is how the Oracle, the ultimate bearer of truth, lets his messages be influenced by offerings – because the more you give, the juicier the news! Pomegranates? Oh, today you’ll hear the entire secret plans of the galaxies. Coffee and a cookie? Well, at least you’ll get a serious-sounding line or two. A cosmic pacifier? Well, you’ll find out that tomorrow is just another day. Oh, and don’t forget – if everyone is happy with the messages, then something is probably very wrong.

So… when do we know that the messages are true? Darling, that hasn’t mattered for a long time. The more you know, the more confusing it all becomes. And that’s the Oracle’s real magic trick – he knows that the truth is just another version, one that he can easily change tomorrow. The only thing that matters is this: the Messenger always knows. And that’s why you’re here!